The School Attendance Problem Isn't Just About Attendance

Alerts from my kids' school district are more common than ever before. There have been many notifications about our kids' tardies and absences. Pre-pandemic, this would have caused a family meeting and a serious conversation about responsibility. Now? My parental brain is broken, and my reaction is almost indifferent, a quiet acknowledgment that this is how things are now.

The pandemic didn't just disrupt school routines—it reprogrammed how my family, and perhaps millions like us, think about attendance. It broke something in our relationship with the school as an institution. Daily attendance, once a non-negotiable cornerstone of our parenting philosophy, has become more of a suggestion. And I'm not sure how—or if—that will change.

Pandemic Hangovers and Parental Priorities

This isn't to say we don't value education. We do. My oldest child is a high achiever and has received the university acceptance letter he wanted. He's self-motivated, thriving in advanced classes, and part of a peer group that values academic success. But the post-pandemic school experience has been a harder sell for my other two children. One gets by with a mix of effort and frustration, longing for a different pace and place. The other? School feels like a slow grind through irrelevance—something endured, not enjoyed.

Our middle-class family has a new reality regarding school attachment. We're privileged. We have the flexibility to accommodate our kids' needs, financial resources to fill gaps when necessary, and the advantage of knowing that missed days won't derail their futures. But this is different for many families, especially those living in poverty, and for students of color who are behind academically. For them, the stakes of absenteeism are much, much higher.

Absenteeism Isn't a New Problem, But It's a Bigger One Now

For wealthier families, absenteeism is inconvenient but manageable. But for low-income families and students of color, it can be catastrophic. Missing school doesn't just mean lost instruction. It can mean going hungry, missing out on mental health resources, or being left in unsafe environments. For Black, Hispanic, and Indigenous students—who face systemic barriers like implicit bias, bullying, and over-disciplining—absenteeism compounds existing inequities.

For example, Black students make up just 15% of the U.S. K-12 population, but they account for 37% of those reporting bullying. Unsurprisingly, students who feel unwelcome or unsafe are less likely to show up. And when students of color are absent, they're also more likely to face punitive measures, further alienating them from school.

What's Broken and How Do We Fix It?

A New Compact for Schools and Families

Here's where to start:

1. Rethink the School Day: Conventional schooling as a 7:30-to-3:00 grind only works for some. More schools should explore flexible schedules and online learning options accommodating students' diverse needs.

2. Make School Relevant: Students who see no connection between their learning and their lives are less likely to attend. Schools must prioritize culturally responsive teaching and a curriculum that feels meaningful to all students. Studies must connect to students' intrinsic motivations.

3. Focus on Safety and Belonging: A student who feels unsafe or unwelcome will only attend school sometimes. Addressing bullying, implicit bias, and disciplinary disparities is non-negotiable.

4. Partner with Families: Families need to feel like allies, not adversaries, especially when political opportunists run national campaigns to create friction and distance between families and schools. That means better communication, more support, and a genuine effort to understand families' challenges—transportation, mental health, or financial strain.

5. Provide Basic Needs: No child should miss school because they lack clean clothes or meals. Schools need robust programs to ensure students have what they need to show up and succeed. Communities, schools, and cities must better support children through policies, budgets, and programs.

The Hard Truth

This isn't just about getting kids back in the classroom. It's about reimagining what education can be in a changed world. The stakes couldn't be higher, and the solutions will require us all—parents, teachers, administrators, and policymakers—to rethink what it means to truly serve our kids.